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Having a good group of girlfriends through the divorce process is very helpful and comforting.  Plan a girls night out with your friends and thank them for the support they have given you during the divorce process.  I actually started this tradition the year after my divorce and girls night is now one of my favorite nights of the year.

If possible, it is helpful for the two of you to attend parent-teacher conferences together, as this enables you to show the teachers that both of you are involved in your children’s lives and even though you are divorced, your children are the priority.

There will be moments when you are frustrated by a specific dynamic with your ex-husband. This is completely normal, but as much as you can, try to take the high road. It is not always the easiest path to take and there are times when you may question whether is the right thing to do but the high road is usually worth it in the end.

Whether you decide to stay in the house you have been living in prior to divorce or you are moving into a new place take the time to create the space you want to live in after your divorce.  When you consider how to decorate after the divorce, think about the essentials you want and need to have to make a place feel like a home for you and your children.

Actually I do not recommend decluttering if you still are feeling emotional about the change you have gone through. The decision of what to give away (or throw away) and what to keep is definitely impacted by your emotional state.  If you think you may regret the decisions you will make when you declutter your home then I recommend waiting until you feel that you are in a good place and can objectively make decisions about how you want to clean out your closets, drawers, basement, or garage.

Just think through if you want to ask any questions beyond what you need to know about your children.  This is a personal choice in terms of the type of relationship you want to have or are able to have with your ex-husband. 

There will be several times during the year when you will need to think through how you want to handle helping your children pick out and pay for gifts for their father (for Father’s Day, birthday, and holiday gifts).

The most important point is to help your children feel good about how they are recognizing their father for the special occasion that requires a gift… and also teaching them the valuable lesson of giving (versus receiving) gifts.

After the divorce, it can be hard to decide what to do with pictures.  Give this some thought, as displaying pictures of the ex can definitely provide a positive signal to your children that even though you are divorced, your ex-husband is still their father.  Having a photo of him in your children’s rooms can show that this will always be the case.

This can be a challenge, given the long list of things you are most likely juggling at this stage, but it is important to put away your laptop, cell phone, or “to do” list...whatever is distracting you...and focus on spending quality time with your children. 

...Even if You Don’t Ask Them To...

It is important to remember that you cannot control how other people will react in these situations.  It is important to respect the fact that everyone (family and friends) handles divorce in their own way.  The only thing you can control is how you approach it for yourself and your children.

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