There will be several times during the year when you will need to think through how you want to handle helping your children pick out and pay for gifts for their father (for Father’s Day, birthday, and holiday gifts).
The most important point is to help your children feel good about how they are recognizing their father for the special occasion that requires a gift… and also teaching them the valuable lesson of giving (versus receiving) gifts.
The goal as you are going through your divorce is to try to continue a co-parenting relationship with your ex-husband that focuses on your children...as you will be co-parenting with him for years to come.
One important point in terms of co-parenting is to always try to back each other up…when it comes to decisions you have jointly made about raising your children.
The important thing is for you to get clear on what you are willing to trade off…what you want to fight for...and the things that do not matter to you at all. The clarity you have on these points will have implications on your life and your children’s lives.
After the divorce, it can be hard to decide what to do with pictures. Give this some thought, as displaying pictures of the ex can definitely provide a positive signal to your children that even though you are divorced, your ex-husband is still their father. Having a photo of him in your children’s rooms can show that this will always be the case.
Wherever your children are staying should feel like their home. If there is way to have familiar family mementos at both homes (e.g. family photos or children’s artwork) at both locations, it helps each house to truly feel like “home” for your children.